Self-love

Self-love: noun meaning regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

We often perceive this word to be synonymous with selfishness or even narcissism. However, this isn’t what I believe it means entirely. I believe the most unhappy people we come across in life are highly lacking in self-love. They are often emotionally unstable as they lack this important anchor.

The truth is, you can not give or radiate something you do not have. It is important for every individual to have some measure of self-love. If you have no regard for your own well-being, how can you truly care for others? If you do not love yourself, how can you expect others to? If when you look at yourself, all you see are your flaws, what then do you expect others to see? If you do not place a high value on yourself, how do you expect others to?

Sometimes when relationships end, you hear an aggrieved party saying how much sacrifices they made for the other at the expense of their own comfort. I think therein lies the problem. While we will all need to make sacrifices for people we care about from  time-time, I think the best relationships thrive when people meet in the middle somehow. This is what I think someone who has self-love realizes. They give and take. You are very unlikely to tolerate being maltreated if you love yourself.

When we meet new people, we often subconsciously size them up and have a mental summary of the person based on the cues we get. If you are a person lacking in self-love, you are very likely to be treated poorly because people know they can get away with it. So, sometimes it might be surprising to hear that an abusive ex- has remarried but isn’t abusing the new spouse.

So, dearest sisters, let us learn to love ourselves, look beyond your flaws. Treat yourself right. Appreciate yourself. It makes it easier for others to love you too.

Remember, we are all wonderfully and uniquely made. Have a self-loving weekend!