Wait it out

I am a very romantic person. I LOVE love. Its just one of the most beautiful experiences in life. My husband and I have a truly beautiful love story. We have simply been fortunate to share the kind of love and passion that we have. Even after all these years, he still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. However, the truth is, we once faltered.

When we dated, we were just two young people in love and focused solely on each other. Our worlds revolved around each other. I can hardly remember any serious quarrel we ever had. After we got married, somewhere along the line, we slipped and stopped being each other’s priority. We had some challenging times and we listened to voices outside our home and blemished our story. We got advice-solicited and unsolicited. The truth is, other voices can be very distracting whether their intentions are good or bad. In fact, without knowing it, you might start to view your partner through people’s eyes.

While we had simply thrived on making each other happy and enjoyed watching the other person’s eyes glow whenever we gave a gift, it suddenly became a lot of work. There were birthdays and anniversaries my husband failed to acknowledge. We forgot to just stare in each other’s eyes like we used to. I just couldn’t understand the change. It was heartbreaking.

Fortunately for us, God gave us the wisdom to realize we were losing each other. We worked our way back and learnt from our mistakes. We learnt that if it took just the two of us to fall in love, then maybe just the two of us could help us stay in love and work out any issues we have. We have learned, and are still learning to listen to just our own voices. We have also realized that we should never stop impressing each other. Being married doesn’t mean the conquest is over.

So if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, sometimes, it’s a good idea to wait it out. I don’t know your unique situation and it would be unfair to judge you. All I know is, relationships, as with most things in life. are full of ups and downs. Recognize the ‘downs’ for what they are-phases. Of course this especially applies if things were once great between you too. It is also good to take stock and try to assess as realistically as possible, what you have going for you. Ask yourself what is good about your union. If you are getting abused, please this advice does not apply to your situation.

Also try to remember-especially if your marriage is new-that you are both trying to figure out your new roles. So give your spouse some stumbling room. I remember finding all the wedding day advice a little too much. It made me feel like I now had to look and act my role as a wife and look at my husband differently. I just wanted to be his beloved forever. Period. The branding which is associated with marriage can put you both under pressure to act a certain way and micro-examine your relationship.

Do not feel pressured to leave a good marriage because of a temporary phase. Tune out people’s voices. Take a critical look at yourself. Work on yourself. Be easy to love. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. Learn not to sweat the small stuff. Pray for the wisdom required to have a successful marriage. Do your part. Don’t stop learning about yourself or your partner. If it feels very far from how it did when you just met, don’t give up so soon. Talk it out…wait it out.

God bless our homes. Have a great weekend!

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