‘Multiplying’ with caution (pt 1 )

Contraception: noun- deliberate prevention of conception or pregnancy.

I personally love babies. Their smell, the look in their eyes, the love they somehow draw from the depths of you and the blind, shameless trust they display in us as their parents. I wish I could have a dozen of them…my own little village. This is however an unreasonable desire. With this trust and blessing comes a great responsibility. You have been entrusted to care and provide the best for them. YOU and no one else.

A little arithmetic is needed in this multiplication business. Depending on what your dreams are for your children, you can make a fairly reliable projection- based on your income- of how many kids you can provide for. This plan can be revisited if your financial status improves.

In the past, it was quite common practice to have as many kids as you are blessed with the intention of raising them on the generosity of friends and family members. Things are rapidly changing. These days it is rare to find people willing to take in nephews, nieces and cousins. Rather than have their intentions misinterpreted, they would rather hire a domestic staff if they need one. I also think it is quite unfair for a couple to deliberately have just two kids and then be expected to raise 4 other kids for family members. They shouldn’t be judged for not giving up their vacations abroad because you are behind on children’s school fees. I want to believe all parents intend to provide the best for kids. The definition of this best is relative however and people should be able to buy/do whatever they want for their kids without being worried about what others will say or think as long as they can afford it.

It’s called family planning for a reason. There is no rigid figure for all. For you, 6 kids might be ideal, for someone else it might be 2. I also think besides finances, affection should be put into consideration as well. How far can you stretch your love as well. Every child should be loved and made to feel special. I don’t know how easy that can be with many kids. You don’t want a child who feels like he’s been lost in the mix somehow. Some parents are able to bond with each child despite having 7 kids while some hardly have enough attention for one child. It’s all about meeting their emotional and financial needs as they deserve.

It’s not very responsible to continue having children despite being in a bad financial condition. I understand and respect that some religions and cultures are against contraception for different reasons. To each, his own. I feel this is an issue worth giving some thought for all women. I also believe the time to give it a thought is before and not after an unplanned pregnancy. It’s your body, take charge. Contraception is cheaper, safer, and definitely more reasonable than having an abortion too!

Most health care centers have facilities for contraception but I will discuss the various methods in the next part. When to begin? If you are single, sexually active but not ready to be a parent yet, the time to begin is as soon as possible. If your intention is for child spacing, then you should ideally start within 6 weeks after you’ve had a baby as your next ovulation can be very unpredictable. If you are open to having another baby anytime, then of course this doesn’t apply to you.