While waiting…or not

When I hear the term ‘waiting for the right man’, I often think it is quite inappropriate. It brings to mind the mental image of a young (or not so young) woman, waking up day after day, getting groomed, trimmed and pruned, and sitting by the road side like a ripe fruit waiting to be plucked. I doubt that is true…literally.

The other impression one gets is of a young woman whose life is on hold as she waits for the right man to happen along. The next big thing waiting to happen in her life is the right man. The truth is even as absurd as that sounds, single females often give off these vibes knowingly or unknowingly and guys pick them up and interpret them as desperation. So much time and attention is given to this project. There is a lot of strategizing and re-strategizing as well.

I don’t believe most of the single ladies I know are ‘waiting’. They are very smart and intelligent women who are doing amazing things with their time and they raise the following questions in my mind. What if we didn’t wait? What if we asked the right man out if we met one? What if we focused instead on being ‘right’ alone first?

There are awesome self-building projects you can embark on with what’s left of your single years. Learn a new language, learn a new skill, build up your savings, learn dancing…swimming…anything! Find out how to be happy by yourself. Learn to keep your own company. The right man can only build upon what you already have. I am a firm believer in the miracle called love. I also believe it is easier to love a happy person than a sad one…makes the job easier. So learn to be happy.

To sum it up, the wait can be frustrating especially if it seems things are not moving fast enough or in the right direction. However, it is necessary -sometimes- to be patient to avoid regrets. I don’t think there is an expiry date on singlehood but that’s an argument I would never win in the Nigerian society’s law court. So while you are waiting…or not, make yourself the ‘right woman’.

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